Friday, April 5, 2013

Don't tell me...

A lot has gone on in the past few months that I have not even been able to really process due to how crazy life got.
We left for our cruise- we're gone for 10 days- got home for 6- and then the babies came and we were gone for another 4 weeks.
That didn't sound like it would be too much to handle, but it sure as heck was and in more ways then I even would have fathomed.

I am going to switch gears really quick and tell you what's really going on so that I can get to bed.
 Within Matt and I's first week joined back at HTBC he finally got to see a little bit of what I go through almost on a daily basis- He came up to me one day at church and asked the question, "Is there anybody who doesn't tell you how to live your life?" Which leads me to this......

Something has been occurring here lately that I must speak about.
Remember that time about 4 years ago where people thought they could tell me how to live my life? Not in a "I care about you and only want what is best for you" kind of way- but in the "I don't believe you can really do this life now that your parents are gone... Oh and I think you will be a major failure" type way.
Well IT'S BACK!! I know what you're thinking (or should be thinking!) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Well, sadly no.
I seriously thought that when I got married and settled down in our home that all of this nonsense would stop- but who was I kidding?
For some stupid reason people think that just because mom and dad are gone that they some how have been crowned my new guidance counselor. Unless you were at some point my mentor, don't bother popping in and telling me what to do now.
Oh and by the way in case you forgot- I've been married for almost 2 years (gasp!) The only people that have authority over me are my God and my husband. THAT's BIBLICAL.

People have gotten so lost on this path of grieving for the loss of my mom and dad, that they are just strait confused now. We understand the whole asking how we are doing bit- but TELLING me what to do is a whole other game.
Where do people get off thinking that they can tell me what to do with my parents stuff- and who should get what? Are you shocked yet???
Would you believe it happens almost every week?!
But it gets better.
Non family members think they can tell me to go see family members that I have NEVER had a relationship with in the first place. If you have some questions about choices I have made, then by all means ask- I am and always have been an open book.

Here is what I have to say to this all.
Thank you for your concern. However, if I can run a household, pay my bills, hold a job, and be a good wife and stay in church... then I sure as heck can make my own decisions.
There's a book called "Boudaries" that I am reading. I have extra copies and would be more than glad to hand one to you with all my highlights so that you can get the picture.

This may all seem so harsh and so out of left field- but let me tell you it's been brewing for a while.
I am not some lost sad puppy needing direction anymore- I am a woman of God who by grace has been saved from her rocky grieving path. Who is loved unconditionally and forgiven for her stupidity. Who is held during the rough days even now and who is lead by an incredible God and husband.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Project galore

Well it has been officially two days without the babies.
The first night without them was a little emotional. It was just a weird feeling of not knowing what to do with myself and forgetting what it's like to be home in my bed. People were so sweet and text me all day to see how I was doing and if I needed anything.

I got home Thursday after the momma was released and reunited with her babies. I was so happy for her and so proud of how hard she had worked to straighten out her life for these two.
As soon as I got home I dropped my stuff off on the couch- climbed on top and sat there going through pinterest for a while.
I then text Matt and asked where all of our paint was so I could begin a random project.
I proceeded to paint the dining room- which then lead to the man cave the next day and replacing 3 ceiling fans, adding a chandelier, a new shower curtain, new lighting in the guest bath, adding a shelf to the guest bath and much more.
So we are definitely staying busy and getting a lot of stuff done!
I guess this is what happens after being gone for so long-

I will post pictures soon.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Bye Bye Babies

Tomorrow is Matt and I's last day as pseudo-parents to our twin boys.
I really don't know how I am going to feel when their mom comes tomorrow. There are times where I think about it and cry, and there are times in the middle of the night where I think, "COME AND GET EM!" "where is their mother?"
Matt and I have learned a lot about ourselves and each other that we never knew until now- some good and some bad!

I am sure once we are finally home and recovered I will be able to write more. As for now, I just don't know how we are going to feel.

I will say though, that we have had the most incredible support system. Between our church and his mom's church, we have had so many donations and prayers. The two Sunday's that I've been able to attend, I have had people come up and hand me diapers, wipes and much more.
People from her church have come and stayed with the babies for a few hours at a time so that we could finally get some sleep.
My cousin-in-law Brittany even made us a fully Paleo meal in addition to the dinner that she made my in-laws family.
Tomorrow I am having another close family friend come and stay with me until the mom shows up.
I am currently wearing a beautiful necklace with a heart locket [From my fairy godmother-Ali] to remind me that the boys will always have a piece of my heart.

The biggest help we have had though would have to be my twin sister.
Good heavens how she can really come through during the hard times. She helped so much when we needed her. She would let me tell the ugly truth about newborns and not judge me (don't act like they are perfect!)
She provided dinner for a family function on Matt's side that would have been a complete disaster if it were not for her.
She bought me a beautiful sparrow necklace and tons of groceries so that we could stay Paleo and not starve.
She never judged me or mentioned the fact that I hadn't showered or done my makeup in heaven knows how long.
And lets not forget that gift card she got me to massage envy! She knows exactly what I need, when I need it, before I need it.
We love her so much and will never be able to tell her how much she truly made this all possible and bearable at that.

Well that is about all for now.
We are tired but more importantly we are blessed

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Baby Break

I am trying to update everyone on the babies as much as I can, but for those of you with can completely understand the whole not having time/energy thing.
That being said, I have had a wonderful two days "off" this week.
On Sunday morning my mother-in-law took them to church with her that morning so that I could also go to service at our church. She told us that one of her friends was going to be coming by to take care of the babies and we could have all day off. We met Alicia for lunch after we got out of church and in our conversations decided that we needed to do something rather than just sleep. I was thinking maybe go see a movie or something kind of chill.
Well we ended up at SUMMIT rock climbing gym around 3:00pm and climbed for about two hours before we had to leave for Matt to get to church. We called his mom on the way home to tell her that I was headed back that way only to find out that she was taking them to church with her again for the evening service! So of course I went to our evening service (worked in the nursery) and out to eat with everyone afterwards.
It was really nice to see my church family and get a major rejuvenation physically and spiritually!

The next day the babies had dr apts all day long so my mother-in-law told me that I had another day off!
My best friend had just come back in town for spring break and I hadn't seen her since Christmas!
We met for lunch and caught up for a couple hours. Then we went to find her a watch in the mall- then thrifting (of course)
It was really nice getting to see her and have yet another day off.
Well the night time comes and the fun did not stop there. I was able to go and watch the Bachelor with some ladies from my church while Matt was able to go and have dinner with our pastor.

Free time is a great thing. I was starting to lose it a little bit (a little bit more than I already have!)

Now to the actual baby updates.
Nicholas and Joseph went to the Dr yesterday and both are healthy and happy. Nicholas (the "little" one) has gained some weight and Joseph is starting to be a porker and is gaining enough for the both of them!
They are both 20" long now (that's about 3" for Joseph) and Nicholas was the taller one when he was born so only maybe a little under an inch for him.
We believe that Joseph has acid reflux and with the night we had, I'd say we are right.

The whole no sleep thing is getting easier. It also helps that we have decided to all take shifts. You should hear the four of us some nights.
"I'll take your 3am if you want to take my 6am!"
"If you get the bottles ready I will take your midnight shift!"
It is the only way to survive people!

We have 9 days left with these angels and every day it gets closer-the more bittersweet it becomes.

Switching gears-
Matt is headed to an important meeting at DBU right now. Like I had mentioned in the last post, he is wanting to transfer to South Western's undergrad program. I will give you more details when I can. Please keep him in your prayers today.

Another Matt update.
He got a call yesterday about someone wanting to come see his truck (IT'S FOR SALE Y'ALL!)
It has been on craigslist since last late August and we have had no luck the entire 7 months.
SO as you can imagine we were very excited.
Matt headed home from work to clean out his truck and make it look pretty.
*I may or may not have been using the bed of it for my personal trash can when cleaning out my car! I have been calling it a dump truck and Matt definitely appreciates my loving attitude towards his Oh so precious piece of crap totaled gem.*
Moving on.
I pulled up to our house and could see the potential buyers truck. When I looked up the driveway to get a better look at him, all I could see was HAIR.
He looked shockingly similar to good ole' Albert Einstein y'all!
I introduced myself and soon found that he was rather........completely psychotic scatter brained.
Now I'm not trying to be judgmental,  just painting you a picture.
Regardless of his mental stability, he is interested in the truck for sure and we are totally psyched! He didn't offer exactly what Matt was asking for it but in it's condition, I say it's a deal!
It's funny that all of this happened the day after this conversation Matt and I had..
I asked Matt what he wanted for his birthday that's coming up. I told him I already had some ideas but asked if there was something specific. He replied (in all seriousness) with, "I want you to sell my truck."
I looked at him like he had two heads and oh so kindly fired off, "WHAT! I can't do that."
He said something along the lines that I am great at selling things to which I replied, "Maybe beauty products and fashion but definitely not a TRUCK!"
Haha! Just a little glimpse to help put it in perspective for y'all.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

I have just spent the past hour updating and changing my blog dramatically- hope you enjoy!
This blog used to be mine when I was in college but now that I am a married woman, I figured I would update it and make it more about us.

My last post was from September 2012. Oops. Time has definitely been flying by and I am completely behind on so much. I can attempt to sum it up..
September 2012- My parents birthdays.
October- Matt was hired as youth pastor interim at HTBC! Little did we know that God was preparing us for me to slip into unemployment. More on that later.
We went to Disney for our Honeymoon/anniversary trip! We also started Paleo after we got back.
November- Thanksgiving with the Arnold's!
December- Christmas, my favorite holiday! We spent the morning alone and the evening with his side of the family.
January 2013- This is the month that all hell broke loose and I had to quit my job..
I was manipulated and deceived and that's about all I can say.
February- Matt and I's first cruise on the MAGIC as well as our second Valentines Day as a married couple- and our Rock-Lock N' Roll lock in with our youth group- and Monster Truck Jam World Tour!
It also happened to be the month that our sweet twins came. February 25, 2013 @2:30am our sweet Nicholas and Joseph were born. The following Thursday we gained "custody"[guardianship] of them until their momma gets off parole.
Matt and I moved in to his parents house to help care for these sweet boys for a month. It has been full time non-stop mommy up in here. The 3am feedings, the blow out dirty diapers, the spitting up an entire bottle... YES people- full time mommy right here.
Their momma (My MIL's niece) got into some trouble but is so close to getting off parole. We are so proud of how hard she has worked and cannot wait until they permanently reunite.
That being said... giving them back is going to be so difficult... but we will cross that bridge when we get to it!
Their momma will be taking our place in the nursery and we will move back home while they live here for the next year or two.

Changing gears majorly now
Matt and I have been on Paleo since the middle of October 2012. I should have blogged during the whole process but I didn't and I don't know why.
So here we are. Matt has lost 54 lbs and I have lost 34lbs. We are loving our new lifestyle and obviously the results!
I plan on losing maybe 10 more lbs if I can but Matt is calling me an addict..."just one more" is what he says. It's not true at all- but being healthy is ADDICTING to me! He on the other hand, has a "fat heart." He loves the results but constantly complains non-stop still has certain cravings and gets frustrated at times. I am obviously not perfect but definitely NEVER never never want to go back to how I used to be.
[Back tracking a tad.] Matt and I gave up all fried food starting January 2012 for our New Year's Resolution. I believe this is what kick-started our lifestyle change completely.

Follow me- I am changing gears again. Gotta get y'all caught up somehow!
Matt started working at HTBC as the youth pastor in October and he is loving it. Our group has grown significantly from when we started and it's all glory to God. We love our students and have such a great time with them. He is balancing this and part time school at DBU currently. He will most likely be transferring next week but more on that later.

I am about to enroll at CMC Makeup School in Dallas to become a makeup artist. I am very excited and a tad nervous about it all. I have such a passion for it and really want to start doing major freelance work to start off. This certain class will teach me makeup for:
Special Effects
Stay tuned for more on that.

Since taking some time off with these babies- we have realized that we are ready to tackle our next house project. There is so much to do before it's family ready! I will give details on that when I know more.

Here are some photos from a mix of the last 6 months!
October 2012 on our honeymoon/anniversary trip to Disney

After my tango performance in the Carnival Legends Show!


This is the Fab 4 at Monster Truck Jam!
Nicholas and Joseph when they were first born!

Monday, September 3, 2012


Well, it's technically September already but I didn't get to catch you up on our crazy August!
I will start off by saying that I am glad August is over. It was a very long month and I am happy to be one month closer to FALL!
August in a nutshell. August 3rd is clearly a terrible day. This year it marked three years since they have been gone. It's really hard to believe it's been [that] long but at the same time it also seems really short. Moving on. So to cover over that awful part of the month, Matt and I's one year wedding anniversary was celebrated on the fifth of August. It's hard to believe that it has been a year already! It's been filled with some crazy times and some amazing times- but overall I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for us.
We ended up going to Houston for our anniversary (not planned) but had a great time regardless. He surprised me with gorgeous roses and my favorite dark chocolate and gummy bears-and of course a Disney card :) [stay tunned on that]

Then we went out with my aunt and uncle to an awesome all natural/organic market. I loved it! We finished off our day with the Cheesecake Factory and a blueberry mojito! Details about the blueberry mojito you ask? Well it was the [only] drink I drank on our honeymoon. We had this amazing restaurant in our hotel and went there almost every night. They had the BEST blueberry mojito and since then I have not been able to find one. Peach, strawberry, mango... all of those are around except for blueberry. So anyways, there ya have it!
Switching gears a little bit..
Matt went back to school on the 20th and our lives are about to get even crazier! I'm not sure if I talked about my new job in the last blog but I will in this one just in case. I am going to be a teacher at Legacy Christian School! I actually start tomorrow and I am pretty terrified but stoked at the same time! My primary job will be to prepare the lesson plans and teach English. I have two juniors and one freshman that I get to balance back and forth while teaching. I am overly blessed to be asked for such a position and cannot wait to see what this year entails. That being said, my schedule is going to be crazy. Though I do have Fridays off [PTL] I will be working all day Mon-Thurs. I am really looking forward to having a better routine!

Well that about sums it up~ Hope everyone has a great Labor Day!

Friday, July 6, 2012

I hope that everyone had a great 4th of July!

Matthew and I headed up to Houston (as always!) and spent a few days there for what WAS supposed to be a relaxing vacation. 

And this is how the story goes...
It all started when Matt decided he wanted to bring Mona, our youngest dog, with us. I was nervous about this because she had never been anywhere else but home and she had never taken a trip like this in the car. Our next step before we left was to find Gabe somewhere to stay. We got a lot of unexpected turn downs from family.. but that's life! We finally had someone say they would keep him, and we were going to drop him off that morning before we left.  Long story short, life got hectic and I had to take care of some things before we left. By that time, I was just ready to load up my sweet little family of 4 and GO. So we canceled our arrangements and hit the road. To my surprise, the dogs did great on the road trip! I was so proud of them and loved looking back at them while they were zonked out.
We arrived in Magnolia around 10pm and that's when the chaos began. Mona did not understand LillyBell's (the family dog) way of playing. Well I have never heard Mona yelp so loud or seen her run so fast. Needless to say, it did not go as planned. Go figure!
After that funfest, we were off to bed WITH the dogs in our room (kennels of course.) It wasn't too terrible having them in there until Gabe started barking at like..5am, 7am, 7:30am... you get the point! We decided by about 8am to board him at Petsmart and just keep Mona with us for fear of waking up babies. Once we woke up we took the dogs downstairs to go potty. When I opened the front door, Gabe went after the new momma cat...and got clawed to death. Ok, not really, but it was quite a site! After the dogs had done their business, we went back upstairs to put Mona in her kennel so we could get Gabe boarded.

WELL GUESS WHAT!!? she stinkin' went into heat that morning. After leaving tiny traces everywhere- that was it! I muttered under my breath something along the lines of "WORST VACATION EVER!" I gathered myself calmly once we decided to board them both and call it a day.
Of course it wasn't that easy and Petsmart turned us down due to a barely expired vaccine and other stuff. We ended up at an animal hospital where they received their vaccine and stayed for the next couple days.
Not at all how I saw all of that going. Hated leaving them there, but there were no other options at that point.

As for the fun part: Matt and I bought some fireworks from the nearest stand and created our own little show for everyone! It was really fun to see Matt on his pyro side. We created quite the grand finale at the end just like a normal show would- It was a BLAST :)