Friday, April 5, 2013

Don't tell me...

A lot has gone on in the past few months that I have not even been able to really process due to how crazy life got.
We left for our cruise- we're gone for 10 days- got home for 6- and then the babies came and we were gone for another 4 weeks.
That didn't sound like it would be too much to handle, but it sure as heck was and in more ways then I even would have fathomed.

I am going to switch gears really quick and tell you what's really going on so that I can get to bed.
 Within Matt and I's first week joined back at HTBC he finally got to see a little bit of what I go through almost on a daily basis- He came up to me one day at church and asked the question, "Is there anybody who doesn't tell you how to live your life?" Which leads me to this......

Something has been occurring here lately that I must speak about.
Remember that time about 4 years ago where people thought they could tell me how to live my life? Not in a "I care about you and only want what is best for you" kind of way- but in the "I don't believe you can really do this life now that your parents are gone... Oh and I think you will be a major failure" type way.
Well IT'S BACK!! I know what you're thinking (or should be thinking!) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Well, sadly no.
I seriously thought that when I got married and settled down in our home that all of this nonsense would stop- but who was I kidding?
For some stupid reason people think that just because mom and dad are gone that they some how have been crowned my new guidance counselor. Unless you were at some point my mentor, don't bother popping in and telling me what to do now.
Oh and by the way in case you forgot- I've been married for almost 2 years (gasp!) The only people that have authority over me are my God and my husband. THAT's BIBLICAL.

People have gotten so lost on this path of grieving for the loss of my mom and dad, that they are just strait confused now. We understand the whole asking how we are doing bit- but TELLING me what to do is a whole other game.
Where do people get off thinking that they can tell me what to do with my parents stuff- and who should get what? Are you shocked yet???
Would you believe it happens almost every week?!
But it gets better.
Non family members think they can tell me to go see family members that I have NEVER had a relationship with in the first place. If you have some questions about choices I have made, then by all means ask- I am and always have been an open book.


Here is what I have to say to this all.
Thank you for your concern. However, if I can run a household, pay my bills, hold a job, and be a good wife and stay in church... then I sure as heck can make my own decisions.
There's a book called "Boudaries" that I am reading. I have extra copies and would be more than glad to hand one to you with all my highlights so that you can get the picture.

This may all seem so harsh and so out of left field- but let me tell you it's been brewing for a while.
I am not some lost sad puppy needing direction anymore- I am a woman of God who by grace has been saved from her rocky grieving path. Who is loved unconditionally and forgiven for her stupidity. Who is held during the rough days even now and who is lead by an incredible God and husband.


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