The real story

My goodness I am so ready for all of this to be here and over. I have absolutely loved being engaged, but I in no way understand how people do this for a year or so.. It's stinkin exhausting! It wares on me and everyone else possible. It causes stress and anxiety for everyone...
I have been told that I am missing out on my engagement due to so much stress with the house- each day that we cross off the calendar in my mind is one day more that I don't have a house.. Things went from bad to worse with family situations and such..
I have played nice since February but not sure how much more I can take. What [she] doesn't realize is that she is robbing me of my happiness during my wedding planning. I think that is what pisses me off so much. NOT that she is being a total selfish heartless "so called loving sister" but that she is robbing me of everything else! This is the ONE time I get married and she destroys it in every way possible. She expects me to place her in my life again and let her jump on board with the whole wedding stuff after {they} tell Matthew that I am basically an "emotionally unstable whore".. and she withholds MY house key from me and refuses to let me start getting MY house ready for Matthew and I to move into it when everything becomes official. I could just lose it! Is that who wants to be in my wedding? Two words- one starts with H and the other word is NO.
I have told her that only people who love and support Matthew and I 100% get to be involved..

I often wonder how my life ended up like this... when I daydream I dream of better days with a big happy family and a mom and dad who love me with their whole hearts. I dream of the day when I get to run into their arms again... Oh how I need them and Oh how I miss them more and more everyday...
I don't think my sister understands how much damage she is causing...
How can you stand to think of yourself destroying the heart of someone who has lost EVERYTHING. See I think she doesn't see and never will, that our situations are different.
When everything happened she had a husband and a home, she had done college and grown up with wisdom and guidance from our mom and dad *that she seem so desperately to have lost sight of* But us, Alicia and I, were fresh 18 year olds about to enter into a whole new exciting world....... but then we had everything taken from us.- a home, a family...love.
That love that we lost was left to my sister to replenish yet she poured it on others besides us and left us to dry. She made us pay for everything that she had ever done for us. she talked crap about us to everyone she knew and made up lies to tell those we loved and were close to. She hacked into our accounts and our lives doing more and more damage each and every time..
She stole our fragility and forced us,gave us no choice, but to have hardened hearts towards this life we now we painfully call ours.

If only mom and dad knew what was going on... Does she not know that she is destroying the legacy they left her?!! She is destroying what mom and dad left her to take care of! She has destroyed our family, our faith and our unity as a happy family. It is gone. It is damaged. It is done.

All that remains now are two twin girls who are still falling from this unfathomably twisted world- with only few things that keep us believing we will land on solid ground. That is Our faith, our friends (our select family that haven't betrayed us) our loves and our tiny glimpse of hope that [she/they] haven't managed to crush entirely.
I know that all of this will be justified by God- I do. But It is so hard to see how anything will make this all right. 

I will have a home. one day.
I do have the love of my life beside me.
I do have friends/and select family who love me
And I do.....somehow still have a lot of hope that things will be okay.


In the end- When all else has fallen, Love remains.