God took over

I look back at the beginning of this past summer and I compare it to this very day- and I realize how completely different I am. I was lost in a world of hurt and darkness. Clinging on to things that I shouldn't have. Hanging with people I shouldn't have..and hurting those that I loved most.

With a very many tear filled prayers and shouts in the middle of my darkest nights- God listened and He comforted me time and time again.

Slowly He showed me that I needed to get rid of all the worldly things I was clinging to- and completely surrender to Him. I fought this for a while but in the end, He redeemed me of such things and helped me back on my feet.

I began to see a slight change in my life starting early August but never paid much more attention to it. However, the past few days all I can think about is how far God has brought me.

I thought for so long that all my cries and prayers were never going to be answered, only heard. I felt so many time like giving up. I felt hopeless.

Until- this past Christmas. He gave me the greatest gift and one that I have been waiting on a long time- He gave me Matthew Tolar. Now I won't spend a lot of time on this topic but as you can see (past posts) things are going very well! I have fallen deeply and madly in love.

This opened my eyes and challenged me to keep praying because ultimately in the end, He'll answer.

Fast forward 2 1/2 months. I, for so long, have desired a home more than anything since the death of mom and dad. I walked out of that house 16 days before moving away to the dorms at DBU- and since then, have never had a permanent home to call my own. Over breaks and holidays all I could do was house hop around between two sisters, my youth pastor and his family, a friends house.. and so on. At times I would think back to how many different places I had laid my head down at- and it devastated me to realize just how "homeless" I was. Now I realize that there truly are homeless people who have it a lot harder then me. Don't get me wrong, my heart sincerely goes out to those people.

Moving on. God has answered yet another prayer- and by a HUGE leap of faith, I am moving into my old house. The one where my parents, my sister, and I used to live. It have taken a very long time to get over going in that house and not having my breath taken away and tears well up in my eyes.. but God has comforted me completely and showed me my home. my real home. I have a lot of work to do on it to make it feel my own- and entirely different then my childhood-- but I find it as a challenge and a HUGE art project. I will be moving in this summer to work on it and continuing through out next semester to work on it until it is ready to be moved into- around late December/early January :)

So... needless to say, God took over. He has restored a very shattered life and heart- and given me hope. He's told me of better days ahead but for once, I can actually see a glimpse of what a better day looks and feels like. I am blessed. So blessed- and I am thankful to be called His daughter. He is my ultimate provider and I have faith that He will carry me through it all!