Well..there's this boy..

I am currently in the arms of my.. snoring boyfriend. Yes I said it, boyfriend! Matthew was brought to me a while back as a dear friend but things changed about...6 weeks ago. Our friendship grew closer and we denied all feeling for a while until recently. I truly believe that he is my answered prayer. He has brought such joy to my life and not to mention numerous laughs and smiles :) He is my "Michael Hosea" for those of you who have read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers... (if you have not- go now and get it!)
My prayers for so long have been for God to
Bring me someone to ease the pain just a bit.
To walk beside me through this journey I'm on.
To hold me when I need big strong arms that refuse to let me go.
To accept me just the way I am.
and to eventually love me with the love of Christ..according to His will.
 Though I am still guarding my heart and taking things VERY slow with him, I believe with all my heart that God brought me Matthew Tolar.

I wish that I could have found him sooner and avoided all the mistakes from my past.... but I know that timing is all in the hands of my Father and apparently later was better than sooner...

He treats me better than I have ever been treated and he tells me how much I mean to him constantly. It's such a breath of fresh air as opposed to what I am used to.
However, I still struggle to let him "help me" or to lean on him when I really need someone to lean on.I also have a problem with opening up to him about deeper issues and things on my heart... but that is probably just because I am not used to guys that actually care.... MOVING ON... I'm sure that fear and hesitation will all vanish with time..right?
He deserves everything and I hope that according to God's will, I can one day become that for him. He's had his fair share of a tough life too and I want to be there beside him in the good and the bad.

During my many prayers for the right one to come along, I always believed that the man God sent me would have to be extremely sympathetic and empathetic with my "situation" aka...being an orpahn with a crummy past/present.. blessedly, I have recieved that and more :)

I really....really like him and have NEVER felt like this before. I'm falling for him way faster than I ever thought I could..and that scares me a lot..a lot......However, with prayer and guidance..AND taking things slow- this will all be okay.
 I am still getting used to all of it and constantly have to remind myself that this guy is a great one and I am safe with him.. God bless him for his patience poor guy.
Thank you Lord for hearing and answering my prayers.