All I can say right now- is that God loves me more than anyone in this world ever could or did. He wants me all to himself and desires every ounce of me. He wants to hold my hand and walk me through every day. The days where I feel as if I can walk on my own just fine.. and the days where I want to close my eyes and never open them again because reality is such a harsh place.

It has been a very rough few weeks- struggling with grief.. and it winning.

feeling alone and lost. unloved and ordinary. 

Feeling as if there is something out there so near in sight- but so frustrated because I can't see it... I can't see anything. Knowing that there is peace and a promise of a limit to how much I can handle- just right around the corner. It hurts. It hurts worse than any physical or emotional pain I have ever felt in my life.

The battle to give myself completely to God....as he seems to take everything I have ever loved, away from me.

it seems nearly impossible- but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

and so that's what I tell myself daily- minute by minute

Knowing that the only reason I am still able to function and live life- is because HE is my strength..

I need to go to bed now-

but my heart is heavy and I felt the desire to write. I hope that out there somewhere someone will be touched through what God is doing in me. Don't give up hope- He will keep His promise. We can do this.