pouring into those like me

It is 1:10am

my cheeks are stained with mascara and tears- but I think I have finally found somewhere to heal and to serve.

As I was on facebook I saw an add for Camp Erin- when I clicked on it I found out that it was a grief camp for children ages 6-17. My first thought was, I didn't know these existed. My second thought, I wish they had this for my age... and then it hit me..

I need to serve here.

How can I honestly look at this and not feel lead to serve? I have sent out a few emails with my "story" attached along with how badly I would love to serve on their team. I am excited and nervous about this opportunity. I don't feel that this is all by chance- that maybe God really does wants me here.

I have a few concerns-

Am I emotionally strong enough to be a "Big Buddy" to these children who have lost a parent/sibling?

Is this really what God wants me to do?

Am I rushing into this?

I feel that maybe they are in need of emotionally stable people- and unfortunately I am not there yet. I am miles and miles from where I was a year ago- but send me a kid brokenhearted and missing their mommy and you may as well hand me a teddy bear and a box of tissues.. and I will be in their same exact fetal position as them...

it scares me. I become vulnerable and human. 

I really want to be strong for these kids/teens that are dealing with grief- with all my heart I want to be that one person that they can look back and remember something I said/did positive that really helped them along. As we all know it's not me- it's GOD but you get what I'm saying.

This is what is on my heart- please keep this in your thoughts and prayers as I seek to find an answer. God bless you all